I can't really take this anymore. I'm trying not to lose myself to the tapping, but it's happening all the time now. Every day. I can't stand it, don't want to listen to it, and I want to know why this is happening to me of all people. What have I done?

But I already went over that in my last post. I'm just... Just really scared and lonely right now. I want the company of someone other than myself, but I fear going outside. Facing the real world.

You wouldn't believe how much fucking effort I'm putting in to stay calm here. I'm resisting the urge to mash keys on the keyboard, beg for a mercy that won't ever come.

I- I want to see Kip again. Eventually. But can I even leave my house with that... that man killing me? I'm not having the best of times here. I just hope I can hold in until this whole situation ends.