night after night passes by and the trance continues

The ʇappıng, as always, is continuing. However, I tɥinʞ that it is iutǝnsifying, bettıng ןoudǝr. Tɥis ʍorries me, making me ʍonder ʇo wɥɐʇ ǝnd thıs ɯan ʍill go. Wɥy aɯ I the target? That's just... pumb. Nothing makǝs ɐny sense anymore. I feeן poom travelıng closer to me uow, and will 'til I'm bone. It almost feels as if there's uo hope for me, but I hɐve to believe otherwise. I need to have the ʍıllpower ʇo carry on. However, tɥıs problem wou't just bo away ou ıʇs own. I ɥave to make it go away, somehow. Anythıng I can do to ɯake that happen, I will. That's what I shonld do. However, I'ɯ not sure if I hɐve the strength to carry on whıle reʇɐining ɯy sɐuity. I'll try to carry on until I find out wɥat to do ʍhen I makǝ ɯy move, qnʇ I don't know... Shouןd I run? Couןd I run? Or... ɯaybǝ I should fighʇ. Fight foɹ my lifǝ. Fighʇ for my sanity.

I'm considering going to tell Kip. But I don't want ɥer getting cɐught up iu ʇɥis... she's the only friend I reɐlly have.

And I'm feeling so lonely righʇ now.

in a trance under the noise of the night

I'm

still

being

tormented

by

the

noise,

the

repetition,

of

the

tapping

outside.

I

won't

let

this

control

what

I

say,

what

I

do,

but

I'm

not

sure

how

much

of

this

I

can

endure.

There

are

times

when

I

forget

what

I've

done,

times

when

I

blink

and

suddenly

my

hands

have

suddenly

moved.

I'm

asleep

when

awake.

A Tall, Thin Man

Okay, okay. Taking deep breaths here. Can't panic. Have to stay calm. Calm. Calm.

I'll start from the beginning. The phones in my house suddenly stopped working right before I tried to call the police. I admit, that sort of freaked me out. It was like in one of those horror movies where there's ghosts or something messing with the furniture. More likely, it was because of the wind that seems to be constantly blowing around knocking something over or whatever. A storm appears to be coming. It should be here, but it's not. The clouds are just looming over us, looking threatening. I admit, I sort of want it to rain already.

Okay, getting off track here. After I discovered the phones weren't working, I decided to run down the street, trying to find a public phone or something that did work. I found one somewhere in the middle of town - a blue telephone booth. If I was in Britain and it was a police box, I suppose I could make some sort of Doctor Who joke here and pretend it's the wittiest thing you've ever heard but - getting off topic here. Again. It's been sort of hard for me to concentrate ever since... I'll get to that part later.

Right. Phone booth. Dialed 9-1-1. Listened to it ringing a few million times until someone answered. I heard a male say "Hello?" on the other end. I opened my mouth to answer and then the strangest thing happened. This odd warbling static noise cut through the air from the telephone. It was an ear-piercing noise, and worst it came out of nowhere. I jumped back and dropped the phone, my right ear still ringing. When I got the phone back, the police had already hung up.

I was spooked, to be honest. Ran away back home, this odd dizzy feeling buzzing in my head. Needed to be in the company of myself, gather my thoughts. I walked into the bathroom to splash some water on my face, and that's when I realized that I was oozing some sort of black goop from my ear. Suddenly, my vision darkened, and that dizzy feeling intensified. I fell to the ground, and then all went black.

When I opened my eyes  again, I was lying on the cold and hard bathroom floor, my entire body aching. Eventually, my thoughts returned to me and I lifted myself off of the ground. The first thing I noticed was that it was dark outside, and because I didn't turn the light on in the bathroom, the entire room was dark. And because it was dark out, that meant it was nighttime. The time the tapping usually started.

I crept out the bathroom and down the hall, then entering my eerily silent room. I didn't breathe, fearing that any sound I made would wake something ancient and primal up. A ridiculous thought, I know. I was starting to think like Kip, an avid believer in the paranormal. Of course, I was thinking more H.P. Lovecraft than Paranormal Activity.

I walked over to the window and pulled apart the curtains draped over the window.

There, I caught a glance of a tall, thin man slinking away, his arms practically toothpicks and his suit as black as night. I didn't catch a glimpse of his face, but I could see that his skin was pale, almost white. I tried to watch him leave, but he just... vanished into the night.

My heart beating faster than ever, I curled up in my bed, shaking, wishing for a sleep that never came.

Kip was right.

I do have a stalker problem.

And I have no clue how to solve it.

I'm scared, terrified. I'm not sure of my exact feelings, but I do know that I don't want to die. I don't want to let that man take me.

but i know he already has

Decision

I couldn't take it anymore, the tapping. It doesn't just annoy me. It grates on my nerves, drills through my brain, gives me headaches and sleep deprivation...

Yesterday I moved to All's room. I slept there, to avoid the tapping that tormented me so. Even in All's room I got unease, albeit in a different form. The whole night I had this odd tingling sensation, the one you get when you're a paranoid nutjob and think people are watching you. Didn't help that the curtains were pulled open. I could feel the heat getting into the room.

I've made my decision.

I'm going to make a call.

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Investigation

Despite all objections I had, I went over to Kip's house earlier this day to ask for her opinion. I knew the answer would probably be ridiculous, but it couldn't hurt to ask, could it?

Kip lives down the street from my house, near the outskirts of Rhododendron Ridge, at the forest border. Her house is only one story high - simple, and yet it stands out from all the others with its Haint Blue-colored curved roof.

When I got there, I pressed down the doorbell, ominous gongs ringing out, almost like thunder on this overcast day. There was a brief pause, a sky blue eye appearing in the peep hole, looking out, staring at me. Then, the eye disappeared and the door opened. Kip walked outside, her hair tossing around in the breeze.

"Void?" she asked, though that was pretty obvious. "What are you doing here?"

I was silent for a slight second, carefully considering my answer. I had to phrase it in a way that wouldn't make Kip jump to the conclusion that it was anything paranormal. Eventually, I said, "Recently there's been a... bird of some kind... maybe... tapping on a window in my house. I've been searching for answers as to, you know, what species it is and how to get rid of it, and so far I've come up with nothing."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Void, but I'm not a specialist in birds or anything. What can I do to help you?"

Suddenly, I was feeling rather foolish. What had I expected her to do? However, I had already come to her house, so there wasn't much point in turning back now.

My improvised explanation was, "Well, I was wondering if you could come with me over to my house to check on the window. You might be able to see something I... didn't."

I could tell that Kip wasn't very impressed with that explanation, but she said, "Well, I don't really have anything to do today, so... fine, I guess. I'll go with you over to your house."

We walked back to my house, barely even speaking. Kip wanted to look around the back of the house, near where my window was - something I hadn't thought of doing. To be honest, most of my searches were just on the internet. I don't really like the forest anymore and I prefer not to go near it. It's one of the reasons I keep my window's curtains closed. Plus, it helps keep out the summer heat.

Kip and I paced around in the forest, mainly gazing up at the trees. If it was a bird tapping on my window, there would have to be a nest nearby, after all. I was glad that it was cloudy out, otherwise we would have had to shield our eyes from the sun.

Eventually we came to a conclusion: there were no nests near my house.

The next thing we did was go upstairs to check on the windows for cracks and holes. Constant tapping would have to leave some mark. Once again, we found nothing. There was not a single piece of evidence that any kind of bird was there.

Kip turned towards me. "I don't think a bird is making the tapping noise, Void."

"If it's not a bird, then what is it?" I asked, though I already knew what was coming.

"I think it's a person. A person is tapping on your window."

I groaned and shook my head, running my hand through my hair in annoyance. "No, no, no. It's not a stalker, if that's what you're implying. That's just... ridiculous."

Kip pressed on. "Then what is it? There are no nests around, nor any sign that the tapping is coming from a beak."

"My room's on the second floor!"

"And? That doesn't dismiss my theory. They could be throwing rocks, or using a ladder, or... something!" Kip paused, and then stared me directly in the eye. "You should call the police, Void. They can do an actual investigation."

"No. No... no way. I'm not going to do that. That'd be... moronic!"

Kip got up and began to walk away. "Fine, Void. I just hope your denial doesn't end up getting you killed."

She closed the door, and like that, she was gone.

What am I supposed to do now? 

A Bird Mocking Me

I've been searching all over the web for an answer, and just now I found something that could be relevant:

http://www.unexplained-mysteries.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=29524

A lot of the people there suggest that the tapping might be from a ghost or something, but I doubt it. I don't believe in the paranormal. No, there has to be a logical reason. The bird story is probably the most likely one. However, the person with the bird problem had the tapping at five. My tapping happens at night. The internet suggests that it's because of a bird tapping at its own reflection, but it should be too dark out for the bird to see anything. Unless it has nightvision or something.

 Kip would probably love having this happen. She'd make up all kinds of stories to go along with it, stay up late at night to find out what was making the tapping, even post on UM up there. However, this is annoying me. I want to sleep, not to be kept up at night by some stupid bird. When I named this blog 'Nocturnal Ambiance', the tapping hadn't started. It was a meaningless name I pulled from a poem. And when I think of nocturnal ambiance, I don't think of window-tapping. It's almost like cruel irony of some kind.

As much as I don't want to tell Kip about this, I have no choice. I need someone to know about the tapping, no matter how crazy or out there their theories are.

Looking for a Reason

I'm still searching for a reason for the tapping. I've considered it all being a dream, but that doesn't make sense, because it's been happening for multiple nights. But isn't that possible? Repeat dreams? I'm not sure.

It could be a tree, scratching on the window. The house is in a heavily forested area, after all. But why do I get paralyzed from it? Maybe some sort of illness?

The tapping begins at a set time every night. It goes from late at night to early in the morning. Past midnight, to before sunrise.

My head hurts. It's been like that for awhile. Every morning, a headache. Every. Single. Morning.

Do I have a pest problem? Bugs, rats? Can they make those noises? Everything is just... really confusing. I just want to get a good night's sleep. Is that too bad a thing?

Ugh.

I'm going to nap a little.

Tapping

Every night I hear it.

The tapping. Pinging through the air.

tap tap tap

It's tapping and tapping and tapping. Pittering and pattering.

tap tap tap

It started... I don't know when. Last night? The night before?

tap tap tap

But it's been happening.

tap tap tap

Where is it from?

tap tap tap

Why does it lock me in place?

TAP TAP TAP

I don't know.

TAP TAP TAP

I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in days. 

TAP TAP TAP

Even then, I wake up with a giant headache.

TAP TAP TAP

Why does it torment me so?

TAP TAP TAP

I can't think straight right now.

TAP TAP TAP

The tapping is messing with my mind.

the music of the night enchants me so