Past

Every day, the void within grows.
Every day, the pain, the challenges we face get tougher, making it harder to carry on.
Every day, the present is decided, and through the present, the past and the future.

I know what pain is. Since I was young it has followed me, hunted me down. I know what it is like to lose a loved one. It never gets any easier, that emptiness in my house. I keep on hoping to find out he's still alive in the morning, keep on hoping that it was all a bad dream.

But it wasn't. I have to come to terms with the fact that you cannot change the past. You have to move on, move on, move on. Have to find your own path without letting your pain follow you. But how can you escape the inescapable? How do you escape sadness?

I know that I'm blabbering, saying a bunch of words that look like they have meaning, but don't. However, I need to type. Need to write. I never stop. The keys click and clack under my fingers, never stopping. It is a good sound. It fills the emptiness of my house. I can't look back. Can't. No revisions. None. It is written, and it stays. If I changed things, I would get false hope. It's better if I never change a thing. I never say sorry. It never erases what happens. If I could do that, I would. I'd give anything in the world to be able to change what happened prior to the present. Give anything to save my brother somehow.

His name was... actually, I can't really tell you that. I'd prefer to keep my family members' names a secret. I am Void, and he was All. He was about one year younger than me. When he died, he was eleven and I was twelve. The worst part about his death is that I have nothing to blame it on. He died in his sleep, but of nothing. It was as if someone had yanked out the plug of a TV. Instant death.

I cried. Probably. The next few days, weeks even, were a blur. He was there, and then he was gone. Though we fought often I loved him. To lose him was unbearable.

But I did. Some things are just unavoidable.